Our miracle baby boy!

I have 5 weeks and 3 days to go, but who's counting! I feel like I'm growing at an exponential rate these days!!!

I honestly can't believe our sweet boy will be here in just a little over a month. In some moments it feels like just yesterday that we found out and in other moments it's been an eternity! He truly is a miracle baby, and I never want to forget his story. Ryan and I had been trying to expand our family, but with heartache I had a hard time sustaining a pregnancy. The heartbreak is very overwhelming and for someone who's never experienced it can be hard to understand. We decided in January of 2013 that we would let our fears go and try one last time, before we got to old (this is an ongoing joke between us). It was a total surprise when we found out, Ryan couldn't believe it and in my heart I didn't want to get to excited because of our past losses. I remember calling my doctor and saying, well...here we go again. He put me on some progesterone and said this "could" be something to help our baby continue to grow. Ryan and I kept the news very private, in a time like this you want to protect everyone you can...including our families. Again, it's very hard to explain...but in my mind the less people we told the less they would hurt if we had another miscarriage. Of course looking back that is silly, but in the emotion of it all it seemed so reasonable.
We went for our early ultrasound, hearts racing and stomachs turning. I'm pretty sure I didn't talk all morning. I had so many emotions and as much as I tried not to let myself get to excited I had already planned our life as a family of 4! Hearing my name from the waiting room caused even more anxiety, I am so thankful that Ryan was with me...he is my rock. I remember laying on the table and holding my breath as they did the ultrasound. It was very quiet, I asked several questions and the response was minimal...she told me that we'd need to speak with our doctor and my heart sank. Past experience has shown that meeting with our doctor directly after an ultrasound is BAD news. We both cried as the nurse left the room, hearts broken and right back where we started. We were escorted to our doctors office where he entered and said "I'm so sorry". I asked a few questions like "are you sure", "is it just to early to see anything", "can we come back to see if there's a change in a week"? He also told me that I had a cyst the size of a softball on my ovary. We talked about options and he showed us pictures and pointed out things that led us to believe that our baby was gone. I felt like I was getting a handle on everything that was happening. Ryan and I held hands and talked while the doctor sat and listed, we had decided a D&C was the best option especially considering the size of the cyst.  The doctor was pulling up his calendar to see when I could have the procedure done. As this was happening there was a knock on the door, it was his nurse saying the "oncall" doctor wanted to talk to him. He left the room and as Ryan and I were processing everything our whole world changed. He came back in the room and said "well, that changes everything". Words I will NEVER forget, Ryan and I looked at each other , we were totally puzzled. He explained that there is an "oncall" doctor that reviews all the ultrasounds. He explained that the ultrasound tech had measured my placenta and not the actual embryo. He said "your pregnancy can not be ruled out as a loss yet". I felt a smile come across my face, Ryan and I were both still puzzled. As he explained everything we started feeling a little less hopeless! The doctor said he was still very concerned about the size of my cyst and the wellbeing of our unborn child. Only time would tell, and it was all a waiting game. He told us to come back in a week and we'd have another ultrasound. The wait was on and emotions were high, of course that week seemed like a year and when we went back our baby had grown and was looking wonderful! My cyst had shrunk which meant that I didn't have to have surgery. As time went on I became less worried and more convinced that God has a major plan for this boy, he is obviously here to do great things! To this day when I go to my doctor appointments they say "how is the miracle baby". At my most recent appointment the doctor said, "I am still amazed by this, honestly this has never happened before...I can't wait to meet this boy"! I feel the same way, we can't wait to meet our son and see what he has in store for us and the world!!! I know this is probably more than anyone reading my blog wanted to hear, but I needed to write it down so that I'd never forget what a true miracle this child is!